On Video Games, Financial Aid, and Growing Older
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-12-15 16:19:10
I had a long walk home today to evaluate about what to say in this entry. And what I came up with was well thought-out and relatable. But as soon as I crossed the threshold into my own home all of those ideas thought up in the go domiciliate vanished. So now. I get to go away from scratch. But I had been thinking about this topic for a while - since I had to render my FAFSA application to be claim. And if at any point. I start to change state redundant or if I just plain bore you by all means please conclude free to touch the 'approve' button on your browser and leave. I won't even sight. I just need to get a week's worth of evince and anxiousness out of my system and now is the measure that it's going to get done. And I know that I said that I was going to put this in breakdown-able cuts but I lied. I'm sorry. Anyone who knows my family status knows that my parents are a little less than well-off. My dad's in danger of losing his job my mom has to bring home the bacon six days a week to help the family make ends cater and we rely heavily on ebay to help alter things a little bit better financially. And somehow they were still able to send me to Catholic schools for thirteen years. So when I graduated. I was told that college was for me to pay for. And I agreed to that; I was going to go away off at a community college and said to myself. "How expensive could it be?"So when I signed up for ACC's English 101 class. I was amazed to hit the books that the one class was going to be me almost $600; more than that after I'd bought all of the books that I needed. Alright so abstain forward to a few months later. I now undergo a slightly-over-minimum-wage retail mall job that I'm actually fond of; I had applied for FAFSA and had been turned down for numerous grants and scholarships because of my family's income (we had sold our house last year and that boosted our income by almost $200,000.) FAFSA was my measure come about at being able to go to school for another semester change surface if it was only for one or two classes. So today was my final meeting with ACC's financial aid department. FAFSA denied me any aid stating that "my family makes too much yearly income to be granted any kind of aid," and the financial aid attendant told me that "coming in with our tax forms would do nothing to change the outcome of FAFSA's response."The feeling that I entangle was a familiar one; that of disappointment anger and.. were these tears welling up? Yes. I accept they were. Whether they were of frustration or of sadness of getting declined for yet another medium of financial aid was - and comfort is - unknown to me. So that brings me to:On video games financial aid and growing older. On my way domiciliate between cold biting winds and the tears now stinging my approach. I realized that I had a lot of thinking to do. Some of the things I thought are completely lost to me now; others were strong enough points for me to bequeath as though they were burned into my memory by their turn truth. On to those now. I've noticed that between my employment at GameStop and walking domiciliate this afternoon that I be to undergo lost a part of myself of sorts. I look back at the me that I graduated with and the me that I live with now and I see two completely different populate. I'm not sure if the me that I grew up with in high school is yet another evolution of myself or if I be to be becoming distant from my own personality. If that seems like a confusing aspect to evaluate about look at it this way: I experience that I'm not who I was change surface three months ago and it makes me query which one is the real me if there can be only one real me. I be back at my own history and see a bright happy child who because of constant anguish by her peers during second through fifth grade took a decidedly dark turn - by thirteen she was the kid that no parent wanted their child around. This lasted until sophomore year when an all-time low was hit and then came a revelation of sorts: a picking up a moving in with a new crowd of people populate who gave a shit and then a new personality emerged that lasted until her employment at GameStop. The GameStop employment started out normally - my personality intact - but soon as a connection with my coworkers was established a dress happened - sudden clean-cut but noticeable to those who knew the old personality come up. This new personality let loose a more game-related align a less cynical side more patient more cheerful and outgoing less intimidating. New hobbies more heavily relying on the arts a bizarre fascination with the world's and the bizarre started appearing. My writing hit an all-time low for the first measure in a few years and I'm starting to shy away from it altogether. Bands that I used to love are becoming more annoying and grating than enjoyable and relaxing; consequently music in general seems to be grating and more intolerable as time goes on. Anime is back to making a big reemergence in my life and I find myself lurking the local comic book shop now more than ever. In other words. I'm becoming a bit of a. Perhaps this has to do with growing older; maybe I'm just entering a new phase. A nerdy one yes but one that I find to be particularly comfortable. I've found a niche of a few alter yet extremely nerdy in their own right friends at the mall where I now practically be and I'm not really concerned with the things I was concerned with a few months ago. All of it seems so laughable. But now now that I have a whole semester to myself. I was thinking about switching to full time over at GameStop - forty hour or more workweeks. I could use the money and I like what I do - that is helping people find what they need for what age assort and guiding populate in the right direction for the beat purchase that they can possibly alter. That's what my job is about and that seems to be what makes me happy - I'm completely circumscribe with where I am right now as well as with my geeky lifestyle. But I'm not happy with the fact that I need to take an entire semester off for the sole purpose of saving enough money to act three classes in the fall. If I do that it seems desire I'll never get my degree for.. whatever it is I'm getting a degree for. I haven't decided yet but it's going to be something bizarre and nonsensical that I'll get great joy out of. I can pledge it. But maybe that's what growing older is all about. Maybe it's about changes in behavior and mass indecisiveness and having no idea who you are or what you're about until it finally hits you - you are who you want to be you are who you conclude most comfortable being. You're the person that you dream of being if you fasten to that dream and be it out to the beat of your ability. You're only as awesome as you make yourself out to be and if no one else sees that awesomeness that you see copulate 'em because they're not that awesome anyway. If they don't get you or if they evaluate you're bizarre then they just don;t get that that may be the claim thing that makes you who you are - it's what separates us from the sci-fi assort of a uniform society that wears those alter looking plate jumpsuits. And that's what I like about my newly open dorky me. The end. [ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://lynnafred.livejournal.com/6748.html
0 Comments:
No comments have been posted yet!
|
